


His Name Is Tubbo

by late_to_the_party_again



Category: Minecraft (Video Game), Video Blogging RPF, deramSMP, mcyt
Genre: Child Abandonment, DadSchlatt, Parent Jschlatt (Video Blogging RPF)
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2020-12-20
Updated: 2020-12-20
Packaged: 2021-03-10 22:21:39
Rating: Not Rated
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 1,544
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/28184568
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/late_to_the_party_again/pseuds/late_to_the_party_again
Summary: Schlatt can't take care of Tubbo anymore, he wasn't ready for kids and he had one anyway. This was an awful thing to do to any kid ever, but he had no other choice.OR kinda like a half-letter/half-fic about Schlatt having to abandon Tubbo because the dadschlatt au is tearing my heart apartTW: sad? a little??
Relationships: Jschlatt & Toby Smith | Tubbo
Comments: 44
Kudos: 328





	His Name Is Tubbo

_ His name is Tubbo, _

Schlatt’s hand shook as he tried to keep his handwriting legible.

_ he’s three years old and understands English. _

Tears made his vision blurry but he didn’t stop writing, if he stopped he’d never start again.

_ He’s not allergic to anything you’d find in a gas station or any fruits and his birthday is December 23 _ _ rd _ _. He likes bees and the color green, but he hates bananas, don’t feed him bananas. _

A smile, as wobbly as it was, formed as the memory played behind his eyes.

Tubbo was barely nine months old and Schlatt, who had gotten a little extra money than expected from some one-and-done job, decided to splurge a little and get the expensive baby food that’s in every commercial. It was banana flavored and had “Natural, Non-GMO, with Vitamin C” in big letters on the front so it had to be good right? Wrong. Tubbo took one itty-bitty bite and threw a fit. Schlatt was already so tired and so short on cash but he still went all the way back to the store and got him some strawberries.

_ He loves strawberries. He likes it if you cut the leaves off and cut a small hole where they used to be so he can stick it on his thumb and chew on it that way. _

Schlatt looked at the kid sleeping in his lap, wrapped in three blankets and drooling. He was so proud of him just for existing. He was proud of himself too, he made this thing, kept it alive. There were a few bumps, of course, like when he was one year old and they were at the park, Schlatt had looked away for _one_ second and Tubbo had put a bunch of dirt (and upon rinsing his mouth out, _cigarette_ _butts_ ) in his mouth. Or when he was two and they were in that shitty apartment and Tubbo found out how to unlock the door.

That was Schlatt’s fault though, for teaching him how to stand and support himself on walls and such. But in his own defense, he never taught him how to climb on the weird little step thing that was by the door, and he  _ definitely  _ didn’t teach him how to turn the damn lock. The more he thought about that place, the less it seemed suitable for children. There was literally an easily openable air vent in the floor that Tubbo could have fallen through any day of the week, he had to put bricks on it so Tubbo couldn’t get to it. Thank God they were out of that place, though the back of a drugstore wasn’t any better.

Damn, he didn’t even know how much longer the owner would let them stay, he had to finish this letter.

_ He is very smart and learns pretty quickly, but he also gets distracted just as fast. He likes to be outside and is social in small groups but shy in larger ones. He understands what “yes” and “no” mean and you have to say “night-night” to him or he won’t fall asleep. He can talk a little bit but not a lot. He can stand with support and if you’re the support he’ll take a few steps before he gets scared. He knows how to climb, so be careful with that. _

Tubbo made a noise of discomfort so Schlatt started rocking back and forth to keep him sleeping. He made the mistake of looking at him again, he was sitting up in Schlatt’s lap but still sleeping nonetheless. He had managed to kick off one of his blankets and Schlatt didn’t fix it because he usually did that when he was hot. The kid was just so cute and small and smart and fragile and  _ his son _ and Schlatt had to look away, had to keep writing.

_ I am so sorry to drop a child on you like this but I have no other choice. I cannot support him anymore. It was irresponsible of me to have a kid at my age and it was completely my fault. I can’t give him the life he deserves and I can’t force you to either, but I hope you can at least give him to somebody who can. I won’t try and visit you in the near or far future to see him, I don’t want him to remember me. _

Schlatt had to hold his breath so the jerky pattern of his breathing wouldn’t disturb Tubbo.

_ I don’t know how memories work though, so if he does remember me at all, maybe tell him I’m a nightmare or something. _

He bit his lip to keep it from trembling.

_ Please keep him warm and fed. _

He wiped his face on the back of his hand and slowly took a breath.

Maybe it was the realization of the next step or maybe it was the loss of having to focus on something but, either way, he suddenly felt like he’d been hit by a truck. He wasn’t able to stop the jerk of his chest or the pained noise that escaped him and Tubbo woke up. He made some baby noises that only furthered to break Schlatt’s heart. 

He put the paper and pen down so he could scoop Tubbo up into a hug before he started crying from being disturbed. Schlatt turned him so they faced each other and tucked Tubbo’s head against where his shoulder met his neck. “Hey, big man, sorry to wake you,” he tried to say in a clear voice, but it still cracked and shook. 

“ _ Night-night _ ,” Tubbo whined.

More tears rolled down his face just from hearing his son’s voice, “I know you’re tired,”

Schlatt allowed himself a few more seconds of this moment. Of Tubbo trying to fall back asleep in his arms. Of Tubbo’s only thoughts about him being good. Of having a son.

He took a shaky breath and stood up, adjusting Tubbo so he was comfortable and holding him with one hand. The other was putting the letter and one of Tubbo’s blankets in a pull-ups box and throwing the other two over the shoulder Tubbo wasn’t resting on. Schlatt picked up the box and took a couple more deep breaths before leaving through the back door.

“Bye-bye?” Tubbo asked when the cold night air hit him.

That question felt like a punch in the face, so Schlatt didn’t answer.

He had to push on, to continue with his plan. He knew he needed to do this,  _ for Tubbo _ , he told himself.

\--

Their destination was a block away and by the time they got there, Tubbo was shaking and crying from the cold. Schlatt set the box down on the doorstep and removed the letter so he could put Tubbo in it instead. He wrapped him in the two other blankets and kissed him on the forehead. Tubbo stopped crying when he was put in the box and looked upset at the blankets. He made angry baby noises that Schlatt assumed were words he didn’t know how to say yet.

“I-I know you don’t understand why I’m doing this, o-or even what I’m saying, but it’s all for you.” He slowly stuttered out around the lump in his throat. Schlatt knelt down so he could hug his son for the last time. His tears left dark spots on the outer blanket and Tubbo started crying again, louder this time. “Shh, shh, kid. Tubbo.” He didn’t stop though and now Schlatt had even less time left with him because a light turned on in the upstairs window. Schlatt cursed under his breath and kissed Tubbo’s head again before standing, ringing the doorbell, and running across the street to hide behind a trash can.

When he peeked around it he saw Tubbo reaching out for him as he screamed. The door opened and a blond man immediately picked Tubbo up and wrapped his cardigan around him. He looked down both ways of the street as he lightly bounced the kid in his arms. Schlatt ducked his head down so he wouldn’t be seen and after a second he looked again in time to see the man picking up the letter and reading it as he brought Tubbo, and the box, inside.

Schlatt’s heart shattered with the closing of the door.

He knew it would feel terrible to leave Tubbo, but he didn’t expect the pain to be  _ physical _ . He didn’t expect to feel part of himself die, to be ripped apart from the inside. He knew Tubbo was better off this way. He was better off with someone who could feed him every day and keep him safe. He deserved so much more than what Schlatt could give him and now he would have a chance at getting it.

Schlatt ran. He couldn’t keep his cries quiet so he had to run before the blond man could find him and refuse his kid. This was shitty of him, especially if Tubbo remembers him as the father who gave up on him, but it would be shittier to raise him in the streets. All he could do now was hope that one day Tubbo would understand that.

_ And Tubbo, if you’re reading this, I love you. _

**Author's Note:**

> asdfghjkl
> 
> if anyone wants me to make a (longer) "part two" of like tubbo living with sbi or schlatt living by himself or anything like that ill do it if u ask nicely 👉👈


End file.
